A few owners have questioned my recent trade with Mike. Well, last Friday in "Recent News for my Team" I happened across this: "Mason Miller working on balking problem." "Hmm," I thought. So I read further. "Mason Miller has been having an issue coming to a set position prior to deliver a pitch due to an overwhelming need to scratch his genital region. A's pitching coach Scott Emerson said: 'Look, it is an unusual situation. Mason spent some time with Trevor Bauer in Mexico and suddenly he had an issue...down there. We've tried all of the available remedies but to no avail. He's a pro, he'll figure it out." When asked about the itch, Miller said, "Fu@k'n Bauer, I always wondered why he twitched so much on the mound. Hey, it's a problem, it's an itch: it must be scratched."

Torkelson turned it on in the 2nd half last year. Feel free to trade him to us around July 1.

If anyone is passing through Detroit; please let Mr. Torkelson know that the season has, in fact, started.

My team batting average is .222 - I was under the mistaken impression that I was drafting professional hitters….uggh

Why haven't we slipped from 1st place? Because of Emerson HanCOCK

You get what you pay for. He’s probably 65.

There's a reason Moncada went for 30 cents or whatever you paid, Joe! He's been hurt ever since his 25-HR season.

Changing ny name to: "Holeee FuK and Soroka"

Seems like Moncada is a poor fit for your team. Perhaps his medical status is better aligned with Rich Sapinski’s roster, “The Rehabbers.”

It is nice to see things getting back to normal. Lorin in 1st and my team beginning its inevitable string of absurd injuries. To wit: I give you Yoan Moncanda. Mocanda's surprising start to the season has been interupted by a strained groin. Nothing unusual about a player straining a groin, you say. Well, it is odd that a 28 year old professional athlete running from 1st to 2nd would "strain" his groin and is expected to miss 3-6 months!! What the heck did he do??? This is not Bo Jackson being dragged down by a linebacker... its a professional athlete running (not too fast) to 2nd base in April...COOOOOOCCCK.